By Marc Campos

A Day Without ..Vince? Tumbling Dice, Lidge, U93, Tony's Slump

Ok, just kidding. Taquerias Aranda, a local taqueria (what else) chain, said they were going to close today in observance of "Day Without An Immigrant" - NEVER MIND! They decided to stay open, too bad. Hey, this is an outfit that stays open on Christmas Day - "Day With Christmas."

Speaking of today, Daily Commentary's nominee for Time Magazine's Person of the Year is the Latino Immigrant, of course. They have created one heck of a nationwide debate. In Mexico today, folks there are being urged not to buy Gringo products, kind of like a "Day Without Gringo Goods." Arriba!!

Now back to Vince. My Buddy points out that one of the most powerful constituencies in these parts is the almighty football fan. Well, they just got dissed by the Kirby Drive Brain Trust. With all the money they have, you would have thought they would have had a PR type advising them. You can p___off the far right, Dems, feminists, and promise keepers, but you don't p___off the almighty football fans.

"SMACKS OF STUPIDITY" blared a Chron headline Saturday.

"Casserly .. doesn't have the guts to make this call," said a Chron sports columnist.

"You're wrong Bob (McNair, the owner)," said the same columnist about McNair wanting to sign the Numero Uno pick before the draft started.

We didn't get the best player. We didn't even get either of the best two players. What was going on in Texan Draft Central - "Day Without Intelligence?"

Then, to top things off, Reggie Bush goes to NOLA. Did FEMA finally get one right? FEMA will certainly take credit for this one.

The Kirby Drive Brain Trust wants us to think that they got what we needed to take us to the Super Bowl. Well how come better pro football minds all across America don't agree? I'm glad Drayton, Tim and Scrap Iron don't treat their customers like dummies.

Vince and Bud Adams are bosom buddies today, they were together on TV last night - hook'em horns!

62-year young Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones fell out of a palm tree and got hurt. No s__t? What the heck is he doing up in a palm tree? Looking for satisfaction?

Lights Out Brad got a save yesterday. He looked pretty good. His pitch combo was effective.

Captivating. Silence throughout the entire movie. At the end, folks got up and walked out silently. Some of us stayed through the credits. You knew how it was going to end, but yet deep down, you wanted the passengers to take control of the cockpit and have a Hollywood ending. When we got our tickets, the ticket fella said - "enjoy the movie."

My take on the FAA and the military after watching the movie, they were spectators with courtside seats. Go check out U93.

You know something is up with Tony Soprano when he walks away from Juliana Margulies. I've had hotcakes, pancakes, waffles, silver dollar pancakes, a short stack, and even buckwheat cakes (along with crispy bacon) - but what the heck are "Johnny Cakes?"

May 1, 2006, 9:00AM

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