By Marc Campos

Deliver Us From, Scorecard, Cheese, H-Town

It looks like the collections were down last year at the church of America’s Phoniest Preacher, errr Pat Robertson. Apparently, Reverend Phony had a recent conversation with God and God told him that the US of A was gonna get wacked big time by terrorists sometime this year – 2007. Durn, I wish I had known Reverend Phony was going to be talking with God, I would have had him ask God if the ‘Stros had a shot at going to the World Serious this year.

Rev Phony had to pull the “I talked to God” card to help pay the bills. I guess he figures that folks will send him some more God talking moola. You know, I don’t believe he talked to God, because God would have told him to shut up.

If Rev Phony had really talked to God, he would have told us who God sounds like – you know, like Barbara Jordan, Darth Vadar, Don Knotts, Cheech Marin, Goldie Hawn, Lisa Forunda, Marcel Marceau or Katherine Hepburn.

“Take no prisoners” ought to be the motto of the Dem controlled Congress. Tomorrow the Dems officially take over Congress. That’s a good thing.

Scorecard equals scoreboard. Commentary wants to know what’s so difficult about the media calling up or emailing 149 Texas House members and asking them where they stand on the Texas House Speaker race. You know, you could have a column for committed to, undecided, would not reveal, or did not return call. You kind of get the feeling that the media folks don’t want to know the outcome and would rather see a bloody floor fight on Opening Day and then write columns about how decorum flew out the window. The last thing Commentary wants to do is get into the newspaper business, but how about a newsroom putting on a full court press today, make all the contacts, then be the first one out with the definitive scorecard – just a thought.

The whole Tom Dooley execution scene was kind of straight out of a Fellini movie. It kind of defines the mess we’re in over there. Now they are launching an investigation to find out who filmed the hanging. Hey, Dick Tracy, how about starting out with the guy who yelled “cheese” right before the trap door opened. Why do they call it a trap door anyway?

Hey, the Houston Texans had one of their own win the AP Rookie Defensive Player of the Year Award and it wasn’t the First Draft choice. Go figure.

I don’t feel bad for Jordy Tollett anymore. He’s got him a nice consulting gig, My PR Agent gave him a good write up in today’s Chron, and the Mayor is saying nice things about him. Hey maybe he’ll get a street, park or bar named after him.

Happy birthday to Jake’s Owner today. He’s 27 years young.

January 03, 2007, 9:00AM

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